We were under no delusions that The Hills was real, or anything close.

But when its star wants out and a new troublemaker - who has not been seen nor heard from in years - mysteriously “joins the cast,” walking in on the season’s climactic scene no less, any trace of believability was pretty much jettisoned.

The question is, does anyone care?

Lauren Conrad’s replacement, Kristin Cavallari, is already shaking things up on screen, as evidenced by MTV’s new Hills trailer, and off screen, it did not take her long to channel her inner Speidi. Check out this hot, staged bikini photo:

Kristin Cavallari frolicks in the surf on a secluded California beach. Well, almost secluded. Who would have guessed a photographer happened to be there!

Heidi Montag would be so proud - except that Kristin obviously needs bleached hair and major plastic surgery before truly attaining Heidi’s fame whore status.

Click to enlarge lots more photos of Kristin Cavallari playing on the beach, looking cute, holding a football, and absolutely loving being back in the spotlight …

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We think Ali Lohan, at 15, is far too young to be following in her troubled sister’s famous footsteps, as the teenager (who looks 37) has made no secret of the fact that she yearns for fame and fortune.

But nine-year old Noah Cyrus, already making YouTube videos, just like her sister Miley? That’s truly depressing.

The youngest Cyrus offspring is adorable in the clip below; we just want her to remain that way. If Noah is soon posing seductively for Vanity Fair, we’re coming after you, Miley!

Noah Cyrus Video

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Looks like Adam Lambert isn’t the only American Idol finalist to go public with a new friend this week.

Kris Allen spent May 29 at Disneyworld, serenading Minnie Mouse and putting on a performance for thousands of fans in attendance.

Regarding his victory, the season eight champion told the adoring public: “It feels good, but it hasn’t completely sunk in yet.”

From there, he played his rendition of the Kanye West song “Heartless” and was honored with a celebratory parade through the theme park. Here are pictures from the event. Click on each to enlarge…

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Eddie Cibrian cut ties with his Lifetime movie costar LeAnn Rimes two months ago - after their alleged steamy affair was exposed - but his wife, Brandi Glanville, says the country star can’t let go of her obsession with her husband.

“LeAnn is a stalker,” Glanville says bluntly. “She refuses to leave us alone - it is both shameful and scary. People are going to say it takes two to tango and I get that, but at some point LeAnn needs to stop asking him to dance.”

Brandi Glanville alleges that LeAnn Rimes (who was caught, on video, out on a date with Eddie Cibrian in March) intentionally tracked down her husband at the L.A. Lakers-Houston Rockets NBA playoff game back on May 17.

That incident was a couple of weeks after Eddie changed his phone number to end what Brandi called LeAnn’s “constant texting and calling.”

Glanville, a model, insists she’s not a scorned wife: I’m a happy wife fighting for what I have,” adds the mother of Mason, 6, and Jake, 2.

Rumors that Eddie Cibrian was doing LeAnn Rimes surfaced in March, and Brandi Glanville seems to admit as much, but all seems peachy between the two now.

The wife of Eddie Cibrian says the chief motivation of LeAnn Rimes - herself married to Dean Sheremet - and her “disgusting” behavior is the limelight.

“LeAnn is so desperate for fame she has left her self-respect in the gutter and doesn’t care who she hurts to get what she wants,” Brandi charges.

“She’s hurting my family and messing with the wrong mom.”

A rep for LeAnn Rimes did not comment on her client’s alleged affair with Cibrian or the stalking rumors, but a source close to the star says:

“Eddie and Brandi are both on the record on this and LeAnn has kept quiet, so what does that tell you about who is after fame and press?”

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Another day, another tabloid reporting on a possible relationship between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. (You might wanna turn away right about now, Michael Angarano.)

Following the near-kiss heard around the world at Sunday’s MTV Movie Awards, OK! spoke to a friend of Stewart. This anonymous source confirmed that the aforementioned co-stars have always gotten along well.

“Robert and Kristen spent a lot of time alone together when they filmed the first Twilight movie - they’d stay up most of the night talking, laughing, playing music. Although [Robert] knew Kristen had a boyfriend, he made no secret of the fact that he was crazy about her.”

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in love? Kate Gosselin in a bikini? Susan Boyle in the hospital? It’s been quite a week for celebrity gossip!

What about Angarano, the little-known actor Stewart has been linked to for months?

“Kristen and Robert hit it off the minute they were introduced,” the friend says. “When they auditioned together for the first time [in 2007], sparks flew. The  problem is, she’s torn between her onscreen and off-screen loves.”

Of course, anyone that has seen a photo of Robert Pattinson likely can’t understand what there is to be torn over. Has Kristen seen his face?!?

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