Bad news, American teenagers:

You have competition around the globe for Robert Pattinson.

In just a couple years time, the actor has gone from a random recurring character in the Harry Potter series to an A-list star that anchors the most popular movie franchise on the planet.

He was featured earlier this week in Premiere, a French publication, speaking on his “Zen” attitude towards fame.

Now, he’s the cover by for a Belgian magazine. We’ love to tell you what it’s called, or what the headline reads, but it’s difficult enough for our staff to understand Britney Spears’ speak. Please don’t ask us to interpret another language.

Just ogle away at Pattinson like usual and count down the days until New Moon hits theaters…

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It’s a rumor that has taken the Internets by storm ever since she was seen at a concert in the UK sporting what appeared to be a penis under her dress:

Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite.

While she has been getting naked for numerous magazines we’ve never heard of and teaming up on some new songs with Michael Bolton (yes, really), the star has yet to address the accusations that she has both male and female genitalia.

Until now. And her vagina is far from pleased.

About the hermaphrodite rumors, Lady Gaga told Australian radio station: “My beautiful vagina is very offended. I’m not offended; my vagina is offended.”

A screen-capture from the concert that sparked the hermaphrodite rumor.

“I’m not embarrassed. I sold four million records in six months; I’m not embarrassed about anything. I think this is society’s reaction to a strong woman.”

“The idea that we equate strength with men and a penis is a symbol of male strength, you know, it is what it is. But like I said,” the dance-pop diva reiterated, “I am not offended at all, but my vagina might be a little bit upset.”

Well, that settles that … or does it? Is this just a cryptic non-denial denial here? Could Lady G’s vagina be offended by the presence of … you know?

Is Lady Gaga really a hermaphrodite?

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The Hollywood Gossip stops at nothing to bring you the hottest celebrity news and scoop first-hand, straight from the beautiful stars you care about most.

We also try to get dates with Kourtney Kardashian.

As featured last week on Khloe and Kourtney Take Miami, the latter Kardashian was being pimped by the former, who held open auditions for boyfriends.

She was probably already knocked up by Scott Disick, but we didn’t know that at the time. All our staff member could focus on was a chance with Kourtney.

Wearing sunglasses to remain incognito, he went underkover, taking a place in line with upstanding dudes with no jobs one random weekday in Miami …

UNDERKOVER: Sadly, our staffer’s hopes were krushed and he kame up short.

Despite a glimmer of hope - he was told he was “hot” and was told to take his shirt off - he ultimately was not asked to take Kourtney out on a date. Poor.

She even told the cameras there was no chance she would date any of the guys. Talk about a slap in the face of one of our staff’s most eligible bachelors.

All in all, it was a giant sham. Apparently these Kardashians prefer ringers and pro athletes (see Friday’s Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom article).

Check out the video of his efforts below. He is asked around the 40-second mark how his penis is doing. Yes, that was a real question posed by Khloe …

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Welcome, celebrity gossip obsessives, to The Hollywood Gossip’s Week in Review.

Below, we take a look back at the stories that made this easily the most exciting week since … well, since last week. Some of the major highlights:

• The Eclipse characters of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are engaged!
• The Hills Season 5 trailer was released, and the drama looks fake as ever.
• Gabriel Aubry got Halle Berry pregnant again! Congratulations to those two!
• In related news, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are expecting baby #19. 19.
• Levi Johnston said Sarah Palin wanted to adopt baby Tripp and keep Bristol’s pregnancy secret, then quit as Governor to get rich. Sounds about right.
• Chris Brown told Larry King he didn’t even remember beating Rihanna, then later clarified and said that yes, of course he remembers pummeling her.
• The official release date for Adam Lambert’s debut album was announced. Idiot protesters still feel the glam rocker is some sort of rebel against God.

Adam Lambert is hugely popular … save for his insane detractors.

• Jon Gosselin hosted a pool party in Vegas, then sat down with Good Morning America to bash ex-wife Kate as a grating harpee who neglects their kids.
• Speaking of Good Morning America, Whitney Houston’s comeback fell flat.
• Maia Campbell apparently exists. And stars in this apparent crack video.
• Tony Romo is dating Candice Crawford, sister of Gossip Girl star Chace.
• Jon Voight is losing it, and not exactly what we’d call a fan of health care.
• Michelle Obama’s hair sparked debate, as it does on a recurring basis.
• On a similar note, Paris Jackson’s new haircut sent security scrambling.
• Her dad, Michael Jackson, was finally laid to rest in a private funeral.

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Welcome, celebrity news fans. Below are some of the best images added to The Hollywood Gossip’s growing gallery of star pictures over the past week.

Click to enlarge the celebrity pictures (some are sad, some funny, some completely random and some quite risque) below, then follow the jump for more …

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