Despite rumors that she’s itching to get back on MTV, despite the fact she was dying to get off it, two reality shows really were enough for Lauren Conrad.

In Touch recently reported that MTV has offered the former Laguna Beach and The Hills star a Newlyweds-style show if she and Kyle Howard tie the knot.

“No,” Conrad said Wednesday when asked if the report was true.

Little room for misinterpretation there.

Lauren, who attended Nanette Lepore’s NYC fashion show last night in New York, said it’s been nice not having the cameras follow her every move.

She says that she probably won’t even watch the new season of The Hills, which starts September 29 and now stars former rival Kristin Cavallari.

“When you’ve been a part of a show, it’s different,” Lauren Conrad said.

“It takes the entertainment factor out of it.”

Will you watch The Hills without Lauren?

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Philadelphia Phillies fan Steve Monforto took his little daughter Emily to his favorite team’s game last night. Maybe next time he’ll take a friend.

Steve made a terrific catch of a foul ball off the bat of the Phillies’ Jayson Werth, only to hand it to Emily and watch her toss it back on the field.

The reaction on his face is priceless. Pure pain.

Just the same, Monforto is an even better dad than he is a fan, as he immediately comforted his daughter, to “let her know she didn’t do anything wrong.”

Hey, she might be a future player herself. Check out the arm on Emily …

After a month that has included an Oregon-Boise State fight and a Serena Williams meltdown, it’s nice to post a lighter moment from the world of sports.

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In the fantasy world of many Twilight Saga fans, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart would be married, with oodles of adorable babies on the way.

However, despite what some celebrity gossip tabloids tell you, this isn’t happening.

But Christian Serratos - who plays Angela Weber in the film franchise - told E! News last night that Edward and Bella fans will be quite excited over the hot and heavy action in the movies ahead.

“I doubt it’ll go R-rated,” Serratos said. “But I think everyone is going to get exactly what they want [in the sequels].”

Hmmm… if that were the case, Eclipse would be rated NC-17. (Of course, fans anxious for that sort of Twilight Saga action are actually in luck, thanks to Jenna Haze!)

A sexy sign of things to come, Edward plants a long, wet one on Bella in this shot form New Moon.

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We already know that Miley Cyrus can make like a stripper.

Turns out, the singer can do a decent job making like Michael Jackson, as well.

At a concert in Portland last night, Cyrus performed to her hit single “Fly on the Wall.” Around the four-minute mark of the video below, she pays homage to the late MJ with a “Thriller” routine. It’s not half bad…

It’s worth watching the whole video, as the on-stage set is quite elaborate. Miley even flies around at one point.

Say what you want about Cyrus as a self-centered, spoiled brat of a human being - and we often do, trust us - but there’s little doubt she can entertain.

Like Britney Spears before her, Miley may be an egotistical mess to deal with at home, but she puts on an impressive show when the lights go on.

Hopefully, along similar lines, she puts a condom on her lover when the lights go down, lest she truly end up like Britney.

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Chris Brown may have avoided jail time for his assault on Rihanna in February, but at least his detractors can rest assured the judge that let him off with probation and community labor wasn’t kidding about the labor part.

Brown was placed on roadside cleanup duty for the day in Virginia, spending 3-5 hours pulling weeds and picking up trash on the side of the road.

Plus, lest you think the Commonwealth of Virginia is horsing when it comes to Brown’s punishment, he also cleaned up the grounds in and around a Virginia horse stable where the police horses are kept. That stinks. For him.

No, really, they smell bad.

The next time Chris reports for hard labor, which may or may not be tomorrow, he could be assigned different tasks. Here he is on the job today:

Reflective vest and all, Chris Brown repays his debt to society.

The singer, who recently appeared in an hour-long interview with Larry King to apologize for the act, Tweeted today: “On my way to community service.”

Brown’s sentence, which amounts to more than 1,400 hours, will include “graffiti removal, washing cars, and cleaning and maintaining other grounds.”

He will also serve a five-year probation sentence, attend a year of domestic violence classes, pay fines and stay away from Rihanna for five full years.

Better than serving time behind bars, for sure, but not exactly a walk in the park, either. Talk about having to bust your a$$. Those weeds look tall!

Do you think it’s an appropriate sentence?

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