The year 2009 is pretty much synonymous with celebrity deaths. Okay, that’s not true in the least. But you have to admit, there have been a surprising number.

The way Lindsay Lohan is acting lately, one has to wonder if she’s trying to become the latest casualty. If Michael Lohan is clued in, it’s gotta be getting bad.

You know you have a drinking problem when the only events interrupting your raging partying schedule are court dates for your past DUI infractions. Yeesh.

We’ve seen this before with Britney Spears, who made a miraculous comeback after spiraling out of control in 2007. Now Lindsay has taken Britney’s #2 spot.

The spot behind Amy Winehouse in The Hollywood Gossip’s death pool, that is. A-Dubs remains the odds-on favorite, but LiLo’s coming on fast and furious!

Given their lifestyles and frail states, Lindsay and Amy are both strong candidates to leave us at any moment. Who do you think will last longer? Vote below!

Lindsay is just 23 and Amy only 26. Both look like they’re pushing 45.

Who will live longer?

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Sorry, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

But we’ve uncovered a Twilight Saga photo spread that actually doesn’t include either of you!

Self magazine has chosen to focus on a trio of Robsten’s New Moon co-stars, as Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz and Rachelle Lefevre took time away from the Vancouver shoot to pose for a series of candid pics.

This is actually great news for Pattinson and Stewart. While the attention of fans is diverted to other Twilight cuties, Robert and Kristen can do whatever it is they do when the cameras aren’t rolling. (Hint: we doubt it involves much clothing!)

Check out the adorable pics below and prepare for a major milestone tomorrow: New Moon opens exactly one month from Tuesday, October 20!!!

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The Heene family, accused of perpetrating the Balloon Boy hoax to promote a reality show, are looking at some serious criminal charges this week or next.

The couple’s lawyer, David Lane, expects charges to be filed by Wednesday, and says the Heenes will themselves in to avoid the spectacle of a public arrest.

Ironic that Richard Heene does not want a public spectacle this time.

Sheriff Jim Alderden wants to charge Richard and Mayumi Heene with felonies and says the hoax was two weeks in the planning and a marketing ploy.

They’re also hunting for any accomplices who helped the Heenes.

“We certainly know that there’s a conspiracy between the husband and wife, and you’ve probably seen some of the e-mails and some of the things on the Internet suggesting that there may be other conspirators involved,” Alderden said.

A man named Robert Thomas claims he worked for Richard Heene and helped plan the Balloon Boy stunt. Police are also investigating an unnamed media outlet that agreed to pay money to the Heenes with regard to the incident.

Richard Heene could be out many thousands of dollars before this is over.

Also helping the cops’ case? A profile Heene posted on RealityWanted.com, hocking himself to casting agents and producers as the next big reality star.

Heene created his profile on September 28, 2009.

While Richard describes himself as a scientist, a contractor, high school educated, married, with children, male, and straight, he didn’t make a specific pitch for any specific show. Could that be because his big idea was this hoax?

Also, police have learned that Richard Heene has a criminal record in L.A. and was sentenced to jail in April 1997 and charged with misdemeanor vandalism, vehicle tampering, and disturbing the peace. The victim’s name is not known.

The national media frenzy began last Thursday afternoon when Falcon Heene, 6, was believed to be carried off inside a giant, homemade helium balloon. 

The National Guard tried to rescue Falcon via helicopter and a search was conducted after the empty balloon landed - under the assumption he fell out.

Turns out Falcon was at his house the whole time. Rumors of a hoax popped up 10 seconds later, and Falcon basically confirmed as much on Larry King.

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Testifying at Howard K. Stern’s preliminary hearing Monday, Larry Birkhead was asked if a prosecutor in the case tried to unfairly influence his testimony.

During cross examination, Ellyn Garafalo, a lawyer for Dr. Sandeep Kapoor, who is on trial along with Stern and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich on 23 felony counts related to the death of Anna Nicole Smith, asked Birkhead some interesting questions.

Namely, Garafalo asked if Deputy D.A. Sarah Slice cornered him in the hall last Friday and accused him of taking Howard K. Stern’s side when he testified.

Larry Birkhead said the conversation did take place and he felt chastised.

Birkhead testified Slice suggested something was developmentally wrong with his daughter Dannielynn because of Anna Nicole Smith’s history of drug use.

Outside court, Birkhead said Dannielynn was not only fine, some doctors have told him she’s advanced for her age. She sure seems happy and adorable …

Larry Birkhead and Dannielynn go to a pumpkin patch in tender moment captured by a celebrity gossip photographer. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

As we reported last week, Birkhead was highly critical of Stern in the wake of Smith’s death, but the two later resolved their differences and get along well.

Perhaps to establish his motives, whatever they are, Birkhead was then asked what he makes from media outlets. He testified he’s raked in about million.

One can assume, given that statement, that he has been paid money to appear in photos and magazine articles with Dannielynn. Not judging, just saying.

It’s all subject to your own interpretation. Some might say that makes him a horrible, exploitive father. Others might not. Hey, THG reports, you criticize!

The prosecutor was then asking about reality shows, until the judge jumped in … “I don’t care about that unless it has to do with a balloon or something.”

No word on whether Larry’s gonna be on Millionaire Matchmaker.

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Sometimes all a thug wants to do is perform. Do not attempt to hinder DMX in such situations, should they arise. Consider this your free advice for the day.

There are only a select few celebrities whose names could appear in the headline above and have us not even bat an eye, and DMX is most definitely one.

He was 90 minutes late to a charity concert over the weekend in Colorado Springs, and when he arrived, security wouldn’t allow him to perform as planned.

This did not end well for them.

X got into a screaming match with security guards. A real screaming match, as the video below shows. Followed by a shoving match involving large dudes.

The funniest part? The crowd, which was just told he wasn’t going to show, chanted “D-M-X!” and “Let him go!” Even more entertaining than him rapping.

He eventually got on stage, to the crowd’s elation, but the sound system was turned off and couldn’t perform. Amazingly, X did not end up in jail for once.

Check out the classic video here …

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