Wow. What a week. We can’t remember a crazier seven days of celebrity gossip since … well, the week before this one. But it’s been a wild ride just the same.

Welcome to The Hollywood Gossip’s Week in Review!

Some of the highlights (and lowlights) from the past week:

• Worst texting: David Boreanz, to Rachel Uchitel, while his wife, Jaime Bergman, was giving birth. At least he walked into some way-too-easy Bones jokes.
• Worst excuse for justice: Travolta extortion case mistrial.
• Worst party foul: Stephanie Pratt getting popped for DUI.
• Best planned collaboration: Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert.
• Best tell-all name: Unsweetined (a Jodie Sweetin memoir).
• Best tabloid kover: Kim Kardashian “having a baby.”
• Worst acting job: also Kim, on Brothers. Wow.
• Speaking of celebrity gossip mainstays who try to act but just can’t, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz got fired from Melrose Place. Not a moment too soon.
• She should just stick to posing for magazines. They like to pay big money for just about any reason. Exhibit A: Kendra Wilkinson pregnancy pics.

Random Sex Scandal of the Week winners Brooke Hundley and Steve Phillips!

• ESPN analyst Steve Phillips gave us this week’s random sex scandal, and it was a doozy, thanks to mistress Brooke Hundley, 22, his assistant at work.
• Brooke went ca-ra-zy, harassing Steve’s wife, Marni Phillips, with texts, calls and a letter she dropped off in person, resulting in a frenzied 911 call.
• Speaking of 911 calls, Richard Heene, the father of Balloon Boy, was so full of BS when he first reported his son missing, we can smell it from here.
• Police released text messages between slain NFL star Steve McNair and killer Sahel Kazemi. He was also tied to a second mistress, Leah Ignagni.
• On a happier note, Marge Simpson Playboy photos were revealed. We know, it’s all kind of weird, but people seem really interested in them.
• These Robsten pictures are actually much hotter!
• Man, oh man, Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck.

This is how Lindsay looks in court! Imagine her on the prowl at night!

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Kristin Cavallari looks damn good in a bikini.

The same can’t be said for how she looks on TV screens, however, according to The Hills fan base, which is dwindling with each passing episode.

MTV dredged up Kristin Cavallari, former Laguna Beach bad girl, in hopes that she could inject new life into its struggling cash cow, The Hills.

So far, the new season can be summed up in two words: Epic. Fail.

Somewhere in West Hollywood, Lauren Conrad is probably ROTFL.

Ratings for The Hills are down by a third this season, i.e. as soon as LC called it a reality TV career and the network inexplicably decided that the “reality” show could go on just as successfully if they inserted Kristin as the lead character.

Is Kristin Cavallari solely to blame for the viewership decline?

While Kristin’s “return” has been disappointing for myriad reasons, Lauren leaving is probably just as big a factor behind the show’s declining viewership.

Even though the show was at times contrived and she could be a bit exasperating, LC was always a real person, and one peeps generally liked watching.

Normal Lauren and insane, but entertaining Speidi struck a nice balance. Kristin Cavallari and Justin freaking Bobby as the focal point? Not so much.

A 33 percent dropoff is fairly significant, and will be hard to reverse. At this rate, you have to think the current season of The Hills will be its last.

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Police have ID’d Rachel Lee as the “mastermind” (a bit of a misnomer, since she’s busted) of the roving gang of hooligans known as Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch.

Lee was arrested in Las Vegas Thursday, suspected of organizing a plan to steal cash, jewelry, clothing, luggage, purses and other items from several celebrities.

Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom, Lindsay Lohan and Rachel Bilson are on her hit list. Courtney Ames, Diana Tamayo, and Nicholas Prugo are among her accomplices.

When Lee was busted, police impounded a variety of items from her father’s home: laptops, photographs of a partially nude woman, photographs of Lee’s friends, two hundred 0 bills, a Korean passport and a vial of marijuana.

Sources also say police found a series of items that may have been taken from various celebrities, such as a hat linked to Lindsay Lohan, jeans linked to Rachel Bilson and - here’s a shocker - photos of Paris Hilton nude. LOL.

Appropriately for an accused celebrity burglar, Lee told the arresting officers she discovered she was a “person of interest” in the case only after “watching TMZ.”

The Burglar Bunch, if they are indeed responsible, ransacked Audrina Patridge and Lindsay Lohan’s pads this summer, and also hit Orlando Bloom in early fall.

Lee has denied being involved in any of the burglaries, but we’ll see if any of her cronies roll on her. She’s currently behind bars in a Clark County, Nev., jail.

The ring leader was among four arrests made earlier today in connection with the high-profile burglaries in Hollywood. All have reeked of inside jobs.

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Welcome to The Hollywood Gossip, readers around the world. Below are some of the best celebrity photos that made it onto our website in the past week.

Click to enlarge some the funny, sexy and random images below, then follow the jump to peruse lots more quality celeb shots from the last seven days …

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In true douchebag fashion, Jon Gosselin has made sure his lawyer makes a huge, public deal out of him returning 0,000 he was not supposed to withdraw and would have surely kept had a judge not threaten to hold him in contempt.

No one at The Hollywood Gossip has ever been arrested for dealing heroin either, Jon, but you don’t see our legal team issuing press releases bragging about it.

Jon’s lawyer, Mark Heller, says his client is now in “complete compliance” with a court order that he return 0,000 he stole from a joint account with wife Kate.

The attorney says Kate’s the one being shady and hiding funds.

“Unless something happens today [with Kate] she will be going through contempt proceedings Monday,” Heller told People, pressing the issue with Jon’s ex.

Mark Momjian, Kate’s attorney, could not be reached for comment. Kate had been ordered to account for ,000 she withdrew for household expenses.

You know you’re a douchebag if you seek credit for things you’re supposed to do anyway. And have really bad hair plugs and delusions about your celebrity status.

Jon accused her of harboring much more than that from book royalties. Kate charged that Jon’s withdrawal left her unable to feed her kids or pay bills.

Both sides filed contempt motions against each other for allegedly violating a divorce arbitrator’s guidelines for how their joint money should be spent.

These people really suck.

Meanwhile, we knew Jon thinks highly of himself - so delusionally that he thinks his time is worth ,000 an hour - but we weren’t aware it was this bad.

The moron is looking for new avenues to keep his bad hair plugs on the news after TLC renamed his show Kate Plus 8, then pulled the plug on it altogether.

He’s wants a spot on celeb editions of The Amazing Race or Survivor. We’re for it if CBS crews “accidentally” abandon him somewhere in the South Pacific.

Worst. Dad. Ever.

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