On March 12, Robert Pattinson does something even more disturbing than smoking cigarettes in a magazine pictoral.

The actor stars in Remember Me as a character that can walk through the sunlight without glistening and make love to his girlfriend without sucking down her blood.

It’s a pretty big change from his role as Edward Cullen in the Twilight Saga, and so is this: Pattinson’s Tyler snuggles up to someone on camera that is NOT Kristen Stewart. We’ll give you a few moments to let that sink in (and to send hate mail to Emilie de Ravin)…

Fortunately, one thing remains the same about Pattinson in Remember Me: his dashing good looks. The movie stills below are proof of that…

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Britney Spears is calling BS on reports that she hates her body.

We’re glad she set the record straight, because we’ve been fans of it ever since we got that … Baby One More Time poster for our dorm room in college.

We may be dating ourselves a bit with that reference, but the point remains that Britney Spears, just like anyone else, has no reason to hate her body.

That’s why her official site is calling out recent celebrity gossip reports that she will “always hate” her body. Two words, Look magazine: Puh. Lease.

“See who’s full of it,” the pop star posted on Twitter after finding a feature in the tabloid that claims to have interviewed the star about her body issues.

Britney Spears takes issues with this bull$hit story.

“I’m a perfectionist, which means I’m never satisfied,” the article quotes Spears as saying, even though she didn’t. “I always strive for things to be better.”

“I think you can be happy with the person on the inside but on the outside, you’re always striving for more. That’s how you end up driving yourself crazy.”

Look also quoted her saying she isn’t comfortable in their own skin and doesn’t see herself as sexy. Not true, says Britney, and we couldn’t agree more.

She also cries foul on the Globe, which claims she is one of a handful of celebs “who’ll die next,” and takes the National Enquirer to task for claiming she is “headed back to the psych ward” after her father Jamie’s conservatorship was extended.

Britney’s image is the most carefully-crafted in Hollywood since her problems of 2007-2008, so it’s no surprise she’s dispelling these erroneous reports.

In the words of many a fan, LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!

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Ashley Elmore, a.k.a. the second craziest chick on The Bachelor after the bat$h!t insane Michelle, didn’t get a rose on this week’s episode of the reality show.

Now that she’s gone, she can’t wait to sell out Rozlyn Papa.

Elmore says she witnessed flirting between Papa and Ryan Callahan, a Bachelor producer. An alleged “inappropriate relationship” resulted in their dismissals.

She also says she heard her co-stars say they saw Rozlyn was “snuggling” and “cuddling” with Callahan, including lying on a couch with a hand on his thigh!

Wow, she saw flirting and heard about cuddling? Scandal!

“There were red flags,” Elmore says. “No one thought a sexual affair was happening but they thought it was serious enough to bring to producers’ attention.”

Both Ashley and Rozlyn got the boot Monday - for different reasons.

Papa insists no sex or even making out took place between her and Callahan, who she admits she is close to. Host Chris Harrison insists that it was physical.

The Bachelor himself, Jake Pavelka, said this week on the Ellen DeGeneres Show that Rozlyn Papa had “an inappropriate physical relationship” with Callahan.

His proof? Some female contestants “came up to me and had seen things going on,” he says. Again, the evidence is so damning, we don’t know what to say!

Pavelka remained mum when asked how “inappropriate” Papa’s dalliances were. Asked if they slept together, he replied “You’re going to make me turn red!”

Call us crazy if we’re not convinved. Who do you believe?

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Advertisers, lawmakers and Garden State residents might have problems with Jersey Shore, but the show clearly appeals to one demographic:

Former young girlfriends of old men.

Asked about the show’s star, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Holly Madison told E! News: “I love Snooki. She’s a pickle sucker!”

That’s one term for her. Would Holly wanna see Snooki nude in the pages of Playboy? Not exactly, but:

“I want to see her in a Midsummer Night’s Dream outfit,” she said, referring to Hugh Hefner’s iconic party at the Playboy Mansion.

Bridget Marquardt, meanwhile, echoes her former threesome mate’s sentiments.

“She’s so funny. She’s just being herself and that’s just who she is,” Bridget said of Polizzi.

As for Jersey Shore in general? Marquardt might not curse like Snooki, but she has the same feelings as the pint-sized, hilarious sex pot when it comes to the MTV series.

“I’m totally addicted. They’re like the hottest people in America. They’re trainwrecks! I love watching it and we get excited every time there’s a new episode. We can’t wait to watch.”

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There’s major irony in NBC’s humiliating late-night TV controversy:

By running off Conan O’Brien, NBC has provided the comic with his best material in years. As a result, his ratings are rising and his popularity is soaring… just as he’s about to leave the network. It’s great.

Conan has held nothing back in his monologues and segments this week, letting his soon-to-be former bosses know exactly how he feels about their amateur handling of The Tonight Show. Last night, though, O’Brien let sidekick Andy Richter take the floor.

Richter stared into the camera and addressed the “TV industry” straight on, alerting it to his monetary woes as a result of (among other things), shelling out 0,000 on a Lutheran Bar Mitzvah for his nine-year old son.

Bottom line: Andy Richter really needs a job. Any job. Watch him hilariously plead for one below.

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