Earlier today, Miley Cyrus sent a message to the world: I am not a slut.

Now, Perez Hilton has a message of his own: I am not a distributor of child pornography!

The latter statement is needed because the self-absorbed, immature celebrity gossip blogger has been accused of Tweeting an uncensored photo of Miley’s crotch.

In an insincere, lame video on his website today, Perez said: “Do you think I’m stupid enough to post a photo of Miley if she’s not wearing any underwear down there? No! Sure I like to seem controversial, but I don’t want to go to jail.”

He then published the following circled photo, which depicts Miley in the same outfit as she wore in the original, scandalous picture (below, left) and supposedly proves she was wearing underwear all along:

Click on the above photos to enlarge them. Does this put an end to Underwear Gate?

None of this changes the fact that Hilton is an absolute tool. He offers nothing interesting or creative on his blog, relying on such pathetic gimmicks as upskirt shots and penis drawings to get attention.

At this point, there’s no real chance of Perez receiving any legal punishment, although a Los Angeles criminal defense attorney told Salon.com that it was “suicidal” for the blogger to distribute the image.

“We’re not talking about a misdemeanor,” Jeffrey Douglas said. “You don’t have to know what the definition of the law is; all you have to do is knowingly distribute the photograph.”

If you’re curious about the definition of douche bag, by the way, don’t bother opening up a dictionary. Just find a photo of Perez Hilton.

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Have former Vice President Al Gore and Laurie David, ex-wife of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm creator Larry David, been having an affair for the last two years?

That’s the allegation of a prominent celebrity gossip tabloid.

Al Gore split from wife Tipper after 40 years of marriage earlier this month, news that shocked to a public who largely viewed the Gore union as an ideal marriage.

There were very few details, rumored or confirmed, about the nature of the split. Until today, when Star said that Al Gore and Laurie David are sleeping together.

Tipper and Al Gore with Larry and Laurie David.

Al has supposedly been having an affair with Laurie, who divorced Larry David in 2007 amid reports she slept with the caretaker of their Martha’s Vineyard home.

No additional information, such as whether Tipper found out about the split, or whether it’s actually true, is available at this time. But an insider did tell Star:

“Al and Laurie went from friends to lovers. It couldn’t be avoided.”

Really, Star insider? It was inevitable? There was no deliberation at all? Michelle McGee would agree with that take. Al’s just doing what guys do, right? Yeesh.

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Miley Cyrus might be bad at singing, but she’s good at listening.

And the young star is tired of all the controversy surrounding her new image. She told The Associated Press today:

“I’m not trying to be slutty. I’m not trying to be, like, go to the club and get a bunch of guys. What I’m trying to do is make a point with my record and look consistent, in the way my record sounds and the way I dress.”

Okay… and that point would be what, exactly? In “Can’t Be Tamed,” Miley sings that she’s “hot like that” and “every guy everywhere just gives me mad attention.”

As critical as THG is of Cyrus, we actually never use words such as “slut,” “skank,” “whore” or other nouns applied to her across the Web. But what point is she trying to make with those lyrics and these outfits?

The quote above may sound intelligent to some, but it doesn’t actually say anything.

Cyrus continued to defend her provocative behavior and attire, adding:

“I’m really comfortable with my body, I work really hard to be fit and to know that I can wear whatever makes me most comfortable.

“I feel more comfortable dressing with a little less, which is just how I’ve always been… Now I’m able to do that a little more freely and, also, I’ve just grown up to be this way too. It’s not like this was me five years ago. It’s me now, presently.”

In conclusion, Miley says she is not trying to use sex to sell albums. That’s not her “schtick.”

“I want people to buy my record because of my music.”

If that’s the case, Miles, put on some pants, grab a guitar and just sing. You’re clearly courting this controversy, so don’t whine about. Prove to us you’re a serious artist and not a disappointing hack.

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Looks like Tom Brady has come down a severe case of Bieber Fever - and the only prescription is emulating the teen heart throb’s signature bangs. Or something.

Just as his wife, new mom Gisele Bundchen, made her comeback on the catwalk in Brazil, the NFL star made his own debut - a Justin Bieber-esque bowl cut.

The overgrown mop is a far cry from the slick, neat look usually sported by the shortly-coiffed Brady, but gotta give Brady credit for embracing the inevitable.

Justin Bieber consumes us all.

It’s hard to think of anyone but the “Baby”-faced singer when you look at the athlete. So we have to ask: Who do you think has the better hair? Vote below!

Who has better hair?

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In a recent interview, Robert Pattinson joked that he wants a better body than Taylor Lautner.

Based on a new photo of the latter in GQ, though, it’s no laughing matter when we say: dream on, Rob! We mean… seriously.

But you can take comfort in this, R. Patt: few men on the planet have a better body that Taylor:

In the July issue of this magazine, Lautner expresses shock over his rise to fame (on the Oscars: “You’re looking down and you’re talking to George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio - and they’re listening to you!”), while also saying not much is different away from the cameras:

“The thing I love is that my home life hasn’t changed. I still help out with the garbage. I still help out with the lawn.”

Since Twilight hit it big, Lautner has signed on for a bunch of new films, such as Abduction. But he says he tries not to get caught up in anything but the work itself.

“If I start thinking, Is this movie going to open? Is this movie going to do well? I’m not focusing on the job. The job is to make a good movie.”

Anyway, we know what you’re thinking: enough reading. On with the ogling! Drool over new photos of Taylor in GQ below…

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