Forget fireworks, beach visits and barbecues.

There’s only one real way to celebrate the Fourth of July: by sitting back and listening to the melodic sounds of the two most adorable singers alive today.

That’s what lucky concert attendees in New York City and Washington D.C. enjoyed on Sunday, as Justin Bieber performed for the former and David Archuleta for the latter.

Fortunately, THG is your hook-up for footage from these events, as you can watch Bieber belt out a version of “Somebody to Love” below and Archuleta follow it up with a rendition of “Stand By Me.” Happy birthday, America, thanks for giving us these talented young stud muffins…

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So close.

Eclipse came ever so close to knocking Spider-Man 2 from its top perch and establishing a new box office record for a film’s first six days in release.

Alas, the third Twilight Saga installment will have to settle for a mere 5 million in domestic earnings so far.

That figure actually falls short of New Moon’s opening six-day haul, as it grossed 8 million in less than a week. Still, Eclipse has set a quartet of benchmarks:

1. Biggest midnight gross of all-time.
2. Biggest Wednesday ever.
3. Widest release in cinematic history.
4. Loudest screams from fans in attendance.

Despite a mixed bag of reviews, the movie has made over 5 million worldwide.

While Toy Story 3 continues to bring in the bucks, we’d be surprised if Eclipse wasn’t the highest-grossing film of the summer when all is said and done. Instead of staring each other down, Jacob and Edward should really be high-fiving in the photo above.

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Only four men remain on The Bachelorette now. Maybe you noticed.

Last night’s episode of the reality TV saga was dominated by a Jake and Vienna interview for the ages, making everything else seem boring and irrelevant.

Follow the above link for an entire recap devoted to that nonsense. Below, we give Ali Fedotowsky and crew their due as her quest for love hits Portugal.

Here’s THG’s patented plus-minus rundown of the episode …

Ali and Roberto Martinez take pictures of each other, hear music on the street and start dancing right there. SO romantic and NOT AT ALL staged. Minus 4.

They make nice conversation about Roberto’s family, the hunk says really nice things to Ali, they kiss and we think he’s the favorite, hands down. Plus 8.

Who will The Bachelorette star choose?

Ty and Frank go on the awkward two-on-one date ever. Minus 5, ’cause they just bitch about the format the whole time. You’re on The Bachelorette, guys.

Frank lives with his parents. Minus 4, but Ty does him one better by saying he’s “tickled” Ali has a plan and a career of her own. Sexist much? Minus 20.

Kirk’s date takes place in a big castle, at which he talks about his illness and how it made him reexamine his life. Again with the mold poisoning. Plus 9.

Minus 12, or approximately one point for each use of the word “hometown.” Like saying “wrong reasons” ad nauseam, guess they stick to the script.

Fortunately, Chris Lambton not only refers to his town’s name (Dennis, Mass.), he knocks it out of the park on his date. Moped skills aside. Plus 13.

Chris and Roberto can do no wrong.

The narrative of Chris’ mom’s death is a wee bit overblown, but he seems so genuinely sweet about it, how can you not give the guy another Plus 11?

Minus 7 for blurring out Chris’ Boston Red Sox shirt.

If you’re up on The Bachelorette spoilers, you knew that Ty or Kirk was going home at the rose ceremony, and it was Ty in a bit of a surprise. Plus 5.

Again, see the link above for the full rundown, but for all her flaws, sad Vienna Girardi came off 100 times better than pompous Jake Pavelka. Wash.

How funny was next week’s preview, considering how much Frank whines about not getting time with Ali, the alleged girl of his dreams?! Minus 15.

TOTAL: -9. SEASON: +130.

Roses: Chris, Roberto, Frank and Kirk.

Out: Ty.

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If you thought Miley Cyrus hated clothing, look at the step her ex-boyfriend has taken.

Justin Gaston is featured in the latest naked PETA ad, posing in his birthday suit alongside some girl named Giglianne Braga and some dude named Ben Elliott.

The trio star on If I Can Dream, an online reality show that chronicles their attempts to make it big in the music world. Of course, if that doesn’t work out, there’s clearly a career in soft porn ahead for these three.

It’s unclear what message PETA is trying to send with these posters, but they practically make the Danielle Staub sex tape look PG by comparison…

Just when you thought PETA ads couldn’t get more random and pathetic.

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You know I love you, I try to stick it to you whenever I can.
- Scott Disick

Not even Fourth of July Weekend could slow down the writers of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. They penned such winning lines as the one uttered above and came up with a new episode of this E! reality show last night. We forced an intern to watch and she filed the following report…

It’s honestly hard to get through KKTM these days without Khloe speaking like a 4 year old.  It’s really effing killing me, which makes it harder to write this review, but here goes.

Scott and Kourtney are a bipolar couple. The polo event they went to was so staged it was ridiculous.  Congrats, producers, for coming up with new locations and storylines to paint the exact story you want.  So Kourtney flirts with a hot polo player and Scott doesn’t even care.  As she laments to Khloe that it felt sexual to be on the horse with a polo hottie, Scott is in the backseat with the baby deciding aloud that he’s “really in the mood for a taco.”

The Kardashians are such pros at working the camera and Scott has picked up the tricks of the trade pretty quickly.  He knows it makes for better television if he resists Kourtney’s taunting and forces her to take her game to the next level. 

This brings us to Kourtney staging a lesbionic reunion with season one fling Jackie.  Scott smells BS the second he walks in the door and upstages her.  I truly was laughing when he came outside in his robe and suggested a threesome.  He’s fully bucko, swinging his dong at these ladies, with his microphone cord visibly hanging behind him. 

Scott’s crazy, but he’s definitely amusing.  Kourtney calls him a sicko, Jackie leaves, and Scott tells her that he always wants to get down with her, there’s no need to play these games.

Next, Khloe flies back to LA for a few days to see Lamar. 

She prances around their mansion in her lingerie and animal print clothing talking like a baby.  Oh, the honeymoon stage. Sigh.  However, while Khloe wants romance, Lamar just wants some bromance.  Rob (possibly my favorite Kardashian) has moved in with Khloe instead of living with his rents at age 23.

I will sincerely say it’s very sweet how Lamar and Rob have bonded.  As the youngest sibling in a large family, it is often difficult to integrate your significant other and your siblings.  But I digress: Khloe wants to get down with her hubby and the NBA is ruining it.

One of my favorite things about this whacky family is how open they are; But SERIOUSLY, c’mon Khloe and Lamar, you guys are in the tub, that’s beyond private time.  You’re not helping fight the media whore rumors when you bring your intimate moments to TV. I mean, I hope his kids don’t watch this.

Lastly, Khloe is getting paranoid.  I guess it’s not easy being the wife of a Lakers star.  I wouldn’t want a strange ho in my bedroom when I got home, but it seems that she’s more on guard than usual.  Nervous about the girl trying to sell stories to the paparazzi and take pics in their bed?  Seems kinda extreme, but then again I’m not famous and I wouldn’t know. 

Just another week in 100% scripted reality television.

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